10 Tips for THE WIFE: Investing in Art

10 Tips for Investing in Art or, How to Become an Undercover Raider of the Art Market

Ladies (and gentlemen for the house-husbands out there). The art world might sound like a pretty glamorous place, with occasional trips to London, Miami and Switzerland the norm. And where better to show off the $10 million you just made than a Christie’s saleroom? It’s all very jet set. But let’s be honest, you can only take so many social gatherings in white cubes under supermarket lights. Museums hurt your feet. And Oscar Wilde said it: All art is quite useless! It does, however, have one redeeming defect: you can make money out of it.

Articles on art investment usually drone on with a spiel of “volatile market, don’t bank on making money,” and “just buy what you like.” Others serve up banalities like “buy low and sell high” and “diversify.” Sometimes you even get “take a recreational interest in art.” But you’ve looked at art for long enough. You want to make some money out of it! So read on for advice on making big bucks out of contemporary art. – Gabriel Butu for THE WIFE

1. Seduce a museum curator. Making money out of contemporary art is all about spotting young artists that curators like. Museum exhibitions boost artists’ careers — and prices — the most. By the time a museum show goes live however, it’s probably too late. Others will have beaten you to it. So getting the heads-up early is key. That exhibition pipeline is your ticket to smart buying decisions. So do what you have to do.

2. Party. With a two-fold mission: (1) Meeting the right people and (2) Hearing the right stories. Jovial settings like openings and functions are made for this, with alcohol flowing and tongues loosening. Befriend journalists, advisors, artists and gallerists. Find out who they have their eyes on. Chat about what’s hot or not right now. Find out what artists’ production/exhibition pipelines look like. Find out which big collectors have shown an interest in whom, and which museums have been knocking at whose studio door recently.

3. Get an artnet subscription. This is a core requirement of any would-be art raider. They’re not cheap, so team up with your girlfriends and pitch in on one. You can now replace your afternoon book clubs with an “Art Raiders’ League,” and plot your toppling of the art market over coffee and auction results while the kids are at school.

4. Get backers. Once you’re on the inside track information-wise, leverage yourself up. You are now a walking art fund. Convince people with dollar that they should give it to you. Don’t tell them where you get your info. Just ‘know.’ When they get their returns (and their lovely art to boot) they’ll soon return with more.

5. Be gutsy. If you’re certain you’ve got good information, go all out. If you’ve found the next Wade Guyton, buy 5. You can worry about your mortgage later (or just move in with the curator!).

6. Form a cartel. If you’re looking to get Charlie’s Angels on this, team up with aforementioned girlfriends and fix the market. Unlike other industries, this is entirely legal in the art market. And far from unethical, it’s almost expected. Be highly focused and methodical in your approach.

Pick 3 talented artists fresh out of art school and with the other housewives, plot a 3 year timeline of inflating said artists’ work and cashing out. This means quietly racking up their inventory and discreetly promoting critical attention through relationships with aforementioned journalists and museum curators. When the artists appear at auction, hit the phones with the girls and underbid the hell out of them. Even if you have to acquire a couple of pieces at inflated prices, the other works you have will also inflate, and you will get rich.

7. For an example of step 5 in action, read this.

8. Buy Fredrik Vaerslev, Oscar Tuazon, and David Hockney. The first two are young artists on the up, and still relatively under the radar. People in the know have their eyes on them, and Tuazon has already made it into the Whitney. Look out for more museum shows. These markets are ripe for fixing. As for Hockney, some say he’s still under priced for what he is. It’ll cost you a bunch to corner this one, but if you do so and have patience, you might see massive returns a few years down the line.

9. Cash out. Don’t be greedy. All good things come to an end. So have a sensible exit strategy. At the peak of the market, commence your quiet escape. Offload your works through private sales routes like galleries and advisors. And book a flight to Bora Bora with your Angels. You deserve it.

10. Repeat. This is a repeatable and scalable business model. Hire underlings and teach them the way. Your Art Raiders’ cartel will be feared from New York to Hong Kong, and you’ll be shaping art history while you’re at it. -Gabriel Butu for THE WIFE